RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT

The A.R.E. Questionnaire

This questionnaire was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. It examines how

Accessible, Responsive and Engaged you and your partner are with each other.

These are the key qualities in a relationship that create connection and closeness.

Each of you will take the quiz twice. Once from your view of your partner.

Then from how you feel you are in relation to your partner.

After you have each taken the questionairre from these two perspectives,

compare and contrast your findings.

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FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW, IS YOUR PARTNER ACCESSIBLE TO YOU?

I can easily get my partner's attention.

My partner is easy to connect with emotionally.

My partner shows me that I come first with him/her.

I do not feel lonely or shut out in this relationship.

I can share my deepest feelings with my partner and he/she will listen.

FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW, IS YOUR PARTNER RESPONSIVE TO YOU?

If I need connection and comfort,

my partner is there for me.

My partner responds to signals that I need

him/her to come close.

I can lean on my partner when I am anxious or unsure.

Even when we fight or disagree, I know that I am important to my partner and we will

find a way to come together.

If I need reassurance about how important I am to partner, I can get it.

ARE YOU POSITIVELY EMOTIONALLY ENGAGED WITH EACH OTHER?

I feel very comfortable being close to,

trusting my partner.

I can confide in my partner about almost anything.

I feel confident, even when we are apart, that we are connected to each other.

I know my partner cares about my joys, hurts, and fears.

I feel safe enough to take emotional risks with my partner.

- SCORING -

Seven or more "trues" indicates that youare well on your way to a secure bond.

Less than seven "trues" indicates that it is time to focus on strengthening your bond.

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